I have the fatigue that seems to be ever present with Lupus, but I also have insomnia. Not a good combination.
This week has been a hard one for me, and tonight is another nearly sleepless night. I’m terribly tired, but I cannot bring myself to go to bed.
As I sat here, finding little things to keep me occupied, flipping through tv channels and infomercials, I think I discovered one possible reason for my insomnia.
I dearly wish to sleep, because when I do sleep, I can dream about being healthy and normal. However, when I wake, something new gone weird comes along.
My mind seems to have decided that if I stay awake, I can stop Time and prevent any new, weird, symptom that I have no control over from appearing.
I wish that I could tuck my overactive mind into a little velvet-lined box far under the ground where I cannot hear it working against my sanity.
A really profound thought here. I suspect that most of us that are awake when we should be sleeping do so to ‘stop time’ though I’ve never thought about it like that before. I wish one of us could take over your ‘watch’ so you could grab a few ZZZ’s. I
The heat and humidity will play a huge part in sleep. Even having AC doesn’t amount to much. We all tend to sleep more soundly when there is a bit of chill in the air.
I can totally relate to the fatigue. I have been tired for the last 20 years and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I don’t think it’s the reason for my fatigue since I take my medication daily and don’t feel any better. I also have fibromyalgia symptoms. It’s difficult to have a “phantom” illness that no one can see or test for. I only hope to be able to help other patients as a Nurse Practitioner through empathy.