It’s another one of those “thangs” I just can’t go into here, because someone(s) might read it and not be too happy with me.
Before I get into this particular vague-osity, I just wanted to thank everyone that chimed in on yesterday’s bitch post. I appreciate you giving your opinions. If anyone else would like to leave their opinion, feel free to do so.
Now, onto what I wish I could do, but won’t be able to.
I would like to volunteer for something. Yes. That’s right. I said volunteer. Most people know I’m not the type to volunteer. When they say to step forward, I step back. It’s my self preservation.
Anyway, there is something I would like to volunteer for, and I feel I’d be more than qualified for the work. Unfortunately, it would require that I put aside my own values in order to follow the values set down in the work’s criteria.
Over the years, and mostly through interacting with others online, I’ve come to discover that I’m a bit of a “straight-lace”. That be “prude”… a word that just reeks of moldy lace, arsenic, and blue hair.
I do think I have a generally tolerant attitude about content that’s on the web, but not always. (See yesterday’s post.) I may say the “F” word in my house, or when I’m really stressed, but I don’t toss it around as much as I used to. I don’t mind reading it, either. However, off-hand talk about male and female parts, and toilet humor just makes me grimace. (See my blue hair???) Baby messes and diapers? GAGH. Breast feeding in public? Uhm… no. (Someone’s gonna smack me for that one…) Hate mongering, cruelty to animals and people, insulting others and reveling in it… bugs me.
I have no problem censoring myself, but in a way, I wonder where and when did they things become annoying, gross, or just unacceptable? I’m pretty sure that when I was much younger I really didn’t care all that much. With the exception of toilet humor – it was NOT funny when I was kid, nor when I was a teen, a young adult or now.
What would you do? If there was a job that appealed to you, might even be fun, would you take it even if it comprised your values and/or beliefs?
Thanks all for your worthy opinions. I think it’s best that I just say “no” and help out in other ways where I don’t feel my values are compromised.
Wow… Margie, that is an interesting story. Thanks for sharing.
As for me… me might try it… but probably have similar experience as Margie… somewhere there would be a line that me couldn’t cross ;)
I agree with Stephanie that we all compromise to a small degree in whatever we undertake to do. It can be as simple as giving a person a refund on something that broke and is lying about how it was broken. I’ve had to do that as a customer service rep and it really upset me. To me it was on the level of compounding their lie.
The most important thing to me in your statements are that right at the beginning you’d feel like you had to in some way compromise your values. If this were me and I felt this way, I wouldn’t do it. Just taking the job or volunteering would no matter what you had to do afterward.
The question becomes could you live with the results or would you regret it for the rest of your life?
Woah, Margie! That sort of job takes a very different sort of person. I had a friend who did do that type of work when she was younger. I think I about fell on my face when she told me about that. But, she has a good sense of humor about it.
Sounds to me like you did the right thing in saying no to that job.
Sorry for being vague, Fred. I just do that sometimes. It’s worse when I write a story that way. :)
Very vague indeed. It depends on what I would have to comprimise. Somehow, I don’t think I would do it. For example, I would have a problem taking a job where I was expected to do a lot of “brown nosing”. Not my thing.
Your job, occupation and how you spend your days can eventually “define” you. With that in mind I wouldn’t take on a job, no matter how fun if it has compromises on my character. Or would in time, result in these changes.
For example, I took a job as a call-girl once. Long story but I was promised that sex was not involved. Rather there was a customer who was “different”. Basically being so dared to step up to the challenge I went ahead. There I met, “Tootles” a man dressed as a ballerina in a hotel room who’s one and only desire was to be humilitated by a woman. I couldn’t do it.
Yeah, I laughed at him and that worked for awhile but truth have it, I couldn’t act nor be the true bitch he desired. Despite the ridiculousness of the entire situation. He wanted me to put a leash on him and walk him down to the crowded hotel lobby!!
Truth have it, I would had been more embarrassed and humilitated than he would had been. Yeah, Tootles was a strange sort. An experience that taught me what I definately am not.
A mild compromise, wouldn’t be bad, but this would be a fairly sizable compromise. I’m reading the particulars of the job and shaking my head. I’d be able to let things slide so far, but not for long.
It’s a difficult question to answer. In return, I might pose another question, which is ‘how big a compromise is it?’ Are we talking about a relatively small compromise or a huge compromise that almost asks you to be someone completely different?
Personally I think the working environment, like any environment that involves groups of people getting along in the same space, involves a little compromise for everyone. We have to accept that our values or beliefs may not be the values or beliefs of others in the group. Nor can we expect others in the group to adhere to our values and beliefs. That would be as unreasonable as expecting you to adhere to theirs.
What can be expected I think though is tolerance. If something really crosses the line, then say something, but do it politely and quietly. Something along the lines of ‘I find that kind of comment distressing.’ But if it’s not really a big deal? Maybe it’s worth letting it slide.