Although I wasn’t tagged, I just knew I had to give this meme a shot. Snagged from Margie.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

It’s a toss up between Osama Bin Laden and Hillary Clinton.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Flavor Flav

3. Who would you really just like to punch in the face?

The CEO of my insurance company.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Mild Cheddar

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Subway’s toasted chicken and bacon ranch on Italian herbs and cheese bread.

6. You, Elvis, and Princess Diana are in a dog sled, fleeing across the Siberian wasteland with wolves in hot pursuit. The wolves are catching up fast. Who would you throw out to gain speed and why?

Well, they’re both dead, and that’s dead weight. They’d both go. Their bodies would distract the wolves long enough for me to get some distance between us. Then, a few miles across the snow I’d be taken by surprise by a polar bear. The dogs would be the only thing to survive.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no strings attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity?

Alan Rickman

8. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Tom Petty

9. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a one hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy Shit. How are you gonna spend it?

eBay

10. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

At the layover in San Jose, CA, I’ll pick up my mom and then we’ll head to Missouri where we’ll meet my brothers.

11. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another one hundred dollar bill. Now that you are in a new location, what are you gonna do?

Take us all out to dinner.

12. Your dream date. Who, where, and why?

My husband for a full week, anywhere in the world.

13. An angel appears out of heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is?

None. I don’t drink.

14. Okay, girls and gay guys stand over here, guys and lesbians, over there. Girls and gay guys first: You’re in bed with Marilyn, Monroe, Doris Day, and Salma Hayek. Who’s gonna be the lucky girl? And similarily, guys and lesbians: You’re in bed with Cary Grant, Paul Newman, and Johnny Depp. Who’s gonna be the lucky guy? Give your reasons.

No thank you.

15. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time traveling/phone booth. you can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I’d go back in time to when my dad graduated from high school and went on a bicycle trip with some buddies. I’d stop him from taking his first smoke and his first drink.

16. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule that you put into place?

Everything is MINE!

17. You have been given the opportunity to create the half hour TV show of your dreams. What is it called and what is its premise?

I’d hire Stephen King to write it and George Lucas to direct it. They’d have full creative ability to come up with whatever they wanted, as long as I enjoyed it.

18. What is your favorite curse word?

Fark… just as it’s written.

19. You have a choice of two doors. One of which you MUST go through. The first leads to a roomful of spiders, the second to a roomful of clowns. Which is it to be?

I hate both, but I could deal with clowns a helluva lot better than spiders.

20. Your house is on fire. You have just enough time to run in there and grab one inanimate object. So what’s the item?

The pastel portrait my mother did of our cat, Johann.

21. One night, you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by mummies. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Watch the cats unravel them.

22. You have George W.Bush and Osama bin Laden locked in a small room together. It’s airtight, so both are gonna suffocate anyway, but what amusing weapon do you give them?

I’d give Bush some oxygen tanks. I’m no fan of his, but he doesn’t deserve to suffocate.

23. The angel of death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the angel of death is pretty cool and in a good mood and it offers you a half hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. What are you going to do in that half hour?

Go spend the time with my husband and my family.

24. Truthfully, what underwear are you currently wearing?

None of your damn bizness.

25. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice. What is it going to be?

Flying

26. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time span can only be a half hour, though. What half hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The time I met my husband.

27. Moses trips on his robe and drops the stone tablets. Commandment 11 is broken off. He leaves it there as his back is killing him. What does it say?

Thou shalt make all healing herbs and potions available to all man and woman-kind regardless of station in life.

28. You can erase any horrible experience of your past. What will it be?

My entire year of 7th and 8th grade.

29. You get kicked out of the country for being a time traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super powers. But, you can move to anywhere else in the world. What country are you going to live in now?

Most likely that island of mine.

30. What part of your body would you change and why?

My immune system.

31. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it going to be?

I don’t go in bars.

32. What’s the last thing you ate?

A chicken pattie burger with a generous slice of beefsteak tomato, some lettuce, and a big glass of water.

33. Suddenly you have gained the power to float. Who are you going to show this to first?

My husband

34. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radio-active vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the power to resurrect the dead celebrity of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

At first I was thinking of Vincent Price, but he had a long and wonderful life. I’d bring back John Denver, who crashed his plane into the water off Pacific Grove, California and succeeded in killing himself. He died too soon. I’d get him the help he needed so that he could continue to write his music.

35. The celestial gates of Beyond have opened. Much to your surprise, Death appears. As it turns out, once again, Death is actually a pretty cool entity and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family member/person of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My dad

36. What’s your theme song?

“Always Look On the Bright Side of Life” by Eric Idle from the Life of Brian.

37. When did you last have sex?

You’re nosey.

38. Buffy, Willow, or Xander?

Angel… pfft on those others.

39. Who’s up next?

Whoever wants to tackle this, go for it and let me know.

Tags: quizzes

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 10th, 2007 at 7:57 pm and is filed under memes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.