Comments on: Confession is Good for the Soul, Part I http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/ I have been here before... Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:51:59 +0000 hourly 1 By: tashi http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-2093 tashi Sat, 20 Oct 2007 12:31:23 +0000 http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/#comment-2093 The AA amends, like AA, is a huge anachronism that evolved from the tent revivals of the 18th century. Of course the idea is to save the ass of the amender, not the victim. The victim is just being victimized or manipulated yet again. There are two general categories of people to apologize to; people you used to know and people you know and interact with today. The old ones probably couldn't care less. And the current ones want to see your behavior and actions change.They cringe at amends w/out commensurate change. I drank heavily for a few years. The one thing my kids totally detested was my guilt and saying sorry. Their little precious eyes would roll and they'd think, oh no not this crap again. So I stopped drinking, made numerous changes, and am really tight w/ my kids, now 21 and 15. We were close prior to my three year stay on desolation row. And when I ask they say yeah, those amends really sucked. We just wanted you back again. The only reason for me to make amends to a person from 30 years ago would be if, by a a long shot, we met again by chance. Good post. Thanks for bringing this up. The AA amends, like AA, is a huge anachronism that evolved from the tent revivals of the 18th century. Of course the idea is to save the ass of the amender, not the victim. The victim is just being victimized or manipulated yet again.

There are two general categories of people to apologize to; people you used to know and people you know and interact with today. The old ones probably couldn’t care less. And the current ones want to see your behavior and actions change.They cringe at amends w/out commensurate change.

I drank heavily for a few years. The one thing my kids totally detested was my guilt and saying sorry. Their little precious eyes would roll and they’d think, oh no not this crap again.

So I stopped drinking, made numerous changes, and am really tight w/ my kids, now 21 and 15. We were close prior to my three year stay on desolation row. And when I ask they say yeah, those amends really sucked. We just wanted you back again.

The only reason for me to make amends to a person from 30 years ago would be if, by a a long shot, we met again by chance.

Good post. Thanks for bringing this up.

]]> By: clw http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-2088 clw Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:22:14 +0000 http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/#comment-2088 *smek* the jayne that has punched and kicked and brought the snark on in defense of me shouldve forwarded this little twisted olive branch and allowed me to crack open this chicks online skull and poured the scalding bitterness in you never gave me specifics but I ball my fists up imagining what she did to you that stood out to her amidst years of abuses and misuses perpetrated against her friends family and loves during her hard core alcoholism *smek*
the jayne that has punched and kicked and brought the snark on in defense of me shouldve forwarded this little twisted olive branch and allowed me to crack open this chicks online skull and poured the scalding bitterness in

you never gave me specifics but I ball my fists up imagining what she did to you that stood out to her amidst years of abuses and misuses perpetrated against her friends family and loves during her hard core alcoholism

]]> By: Romi http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-2086 Romi Fri, 19 Oct 2007 05:23:18 +0000 http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/#comment-2086 I am so glad I got to read this before you decided if/when to delete it. It's funny how different experiences shape different people. I was bullied by a girl in 4th grade for the entire year, in almost unspeakable manners at times. Today that experience is not only a memory, but a big part of one of the chapters of my ongoing book proposal, which is...humorous. Try to figure that one out, I haven't ;-) Thanks for posting this, I hope you decide to keep it up. <em>Romi's last blog post..</em><a href='http://romi41.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/close-your-eyes-and-justimagine-if/' rel="nofollow">Close Your Eyes, and Just…”Imagine IF…”</a> I am so glad I got to read this before you decided if/when to delete it. It’s funny how different experiences shape different people. I was bullied by a girl in 4th grade for the entire year, in almost unspeakable manners at times. Today that experience is not only a memory, but a big part of one of the chapters of my ongoing book proposal, which is…humorous. Try to figure that one out, I haven’t ;-)

Thanks for posting this, I hope you decide to keep it up.

Romi’s last blog post..Close Your Eyes, and Just…”Imagine IF…”

]]> By: E r i c F r y http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-2085 E r i c F r y Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:17:23 +0000 http://www.jaynedarcy.us/2007/10/18/confession-is-good-for-the-soul-part-i/#comment-2085 Jayne, that was a truly wonderful post. It took me back to my own childhood where I had been bullied just as you had. Those are year of my life that I wish could be erased; I've never even been to any of my high school reunions, because there's no one there I care to see ever again. That step where they make amends states, "except when to do so would harm them or others." In my time that I was affiliated with aa, it was readily apparent that the feelings of others were rarely taken into consideration; people only wished to feel better about themselves. Your story provides a great insight as to what the 12 steps do to the lives of other people. With all my respect and continued support, I am, Yours Truly, E <em>E r i c F r y's last blog post..</em><a href='http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/UninhabitedImages/~3/171737270/pit-stop.html' rel="nofollow">Pit Stop</a> Jayne, that was a truly wonderful post. It took me back to my own childhood where I had been bullied just as you had. Those are year of my life that I wish could be erased; I’ve never even been to any of my high school reunions, because there’s no one there I care to see ever again.

That step where they make amends states, “except when to do so would harm them or others.” In my time that I was affiliated with aa, it was readily apparent that the feelings of others were rarely taken into consideration; people only wished to feel better about themselves. Your story provides a great insight as to what the 12 steps do to the lives of other people.

With all my respect and continued support, I am, Yours Truly,

E

E r i c F r y’s last blog post..Pit Stop

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