I’m walking backwards these days. It’s not good. It’s been three weeks since I’ve stepped outside my house. I tried to force myself to go to the movies today with hubby, but as every minute ticked closer to the time to leave, I got more and more panicked.
Much of this feeling is from the dizzy-lightheadedness I’m dealing with. I have a doc appointment, but unless I go to the ER, I have to wait.
The dizziness leaves me unsettled both physically and mentally. I have a hard time concentrating on anything for a few minutes before I’m either staring off into space or falling asleep. The anti-vert med I’m taking to keep me from walking into walls or falling on my face makes me extremely drowsy.
I am neglecting so much because I keep forgetting about it. If it weren’t for the three calendars around my desk, I wouldn’t know what day it is.
I feel like I should be frustrated, or scared, or angry, but I’m not. I feel like someone is slipping laughing gas into my oxygen and I smile and I don’t care.
My temper is on a very short leash, though. The least little noise: my dog whining, a pan dropping in the kitchen, kids on skateboards, and I feel like breaking something… or someone. I yell, and then regret at once because that brings on a wave of lightheadedness.
Tags: medications
Jayne, this is very disturbing. You have too much going for you to be in this mental state. You need a doctor (preferably not one with a ready prescription pad) who knows your background and how to deal with it.
How much longer ’til that appointment, Jayne? I hope it’s soon, and that they getcha all fixed up.