That may be why I find Harry Potter (in the first four books) a child I am able to identify with. That’s all he wishes for, but it’s years before it finally happens for him.
It won’t for me. I have good days, of course, and thank heaven for those! But, with the good comes the bad. This year has just been the pits both physically and mentally. I get exhausted just trying to find the tiniest scrap of normalcy so that no one will know that my side is twinging, or my ankle hurts, or that my hip aches. Thank goodness no one can read my mind, either, for it’s not always the most pleasant place to be.
It certainly doesn’t help when my insomnia kicks in so viciously that it can be up to 48 hours before I can sleep again. Slowly I’m recovering from my 24 hours of wakefulness, but there are steps backwards when I truly want to sleep, and am unable to force myself into the bedroom and into bed. Instead, I sleep awkwardly on the couch waking to odd noises, or bursts of adrenaline in my system.
I cry very easily, then. Some of the cheesiest commercials just set me off, too. There’s nothing concrete to cry about, but I can no more stop the tears, then I can stop my shaking hands.
Add to all of that another migraine (third this week) and I do want to sleep and never wake up. I don’t hesitate to call the Mental Health line, but sometimes it would be nice, in those wee hours, if I could talk to someone who knew me, even just a bit.
I think I can send myself to bed, now, so I am off.
Nighty night.
